You've stumbled upon this blog, congratulations. Take a moment to appreciate how lucky you are. Sure, odds are you were either forced here through friend guilt, or have reached a deep, dark level of the internet you weren't supposed to find. But we don't care. Actually, if it's the latter, do us all a favor and go play outside for awhile. Everything in moderation and what not.
If by chance you're here intentionally to actually read something, feast yourselves on the musings of our contributors: there's myself, Lukas Muhanty, the esteemed Trumaine Murison, and finally the infallible Wolf Sandall. Yes, these are all pen names. Yes, they are all brilliant. Yes, you are impressed.
Trumaine Murison has won 7 Pulitzer prizes; but alas all were in a game of Sims that he unfortunately saved over last summer. But in all honesty, if you're playing the Sims post-2004 you've got bigger problems then misplaced journalism awards. Wolf's claim to fame is having survived multiple brushes with death, his latest a two story effort off the back of a house in the midst of a party. Some people puke and rally for their second wind, Wolf prefers amateur unintentional base jumping because he's not a puss. But I know what you're thinking...what have you done with your life Lukas? Well, I've spent years peddling movie scripts, but Hollywood execs won't pick any of them up due to my tendency to leave Soprano's style clif...
As to the content of this blog, well you're in for a treat. Trumaine, Wolf, and I write about whatever we see fit. Sometimes it'll be sports. Other times it'll be politics. Maybe you'll see a movie review, or perhaps an account of one of Wolf's infamous weekend benders. Wildcard, or as we like to say around the non-existent office we don't post from: LIGAF.
Nonsense aside, we hope you're entertained. If not, let's be real...you're on Blogger. Like a desperate drunk guy who's the last of his friends to find a girl at the bar, it's time to lower those expectations champ.
-LM
Sunday, October 4, 2020
Friday, November 29, 2013
Rant Time: What J.J. Abrams SHOULD Do As Star Wars Director.
I need to get this off of my chest. I have a half-day off from work today, and there is a Star Wars marathon on Spike. Problem is, they picked the wrong trilogy to air, and I am stuck listening to the incessant squabbling of Jar Jar Binks - trust me, by the time Hayden Christensen attempts to grace me with his presence on my television screen, the TV will be smashed into a million pieces on the sidewalk below.
I love Star Wars. Everyone has their childhood (screw it, lifelong) obsessions, such as superhero storylines, masterpiece novels, television series - you get the idea. My go-to is Star Wars. It is my favorite thing of all-time, trashy prequels and all. I can recite every line from each movie, I've played almost every Star Wars video game, and had a slew of Star Wars action figures and board games as an adolescent. I've owned every lightsaber available in stores and, like everyone's favorite actor Hayden, eventually broke each one from excessive use. Honest to God, I would probably own one now at age 24 if someone else bought one and promised to duel me in the backyard when we both had some free time.
This all goes without the scientific and intellectual aspect Star Wars brings to the table. The original trilogy was at least 30 years before its time, and introduced its audience to concepts and dreams never before conceived. It is brilliant, as well as entertaining, and when the prequel trilogy fell flat on its face, it was borderline depressing.
Earlier this year, it was announced that LucasArts was being sold to Disney, and another set of movies could be expected. Only this time, Lucas, who bombed on the prequels, would be handing over directing duties to J.J. Abrams. Now, Star Wars fans everywhere are anticipating Episode VII, VIII, and IX as eagerly as they are nervously. They could help to successfully make up for what was the utter failure of I, II, and III, and they just as easily could be overkill. There is plenty of risk in this undertaking, and I certainly hope Abrams is up to the task. Given the risk, I think there is far more potential in a different project, and it would put Abrams in a no-lose situation. Reboot the Star Wars prequels.
Think about it. If Abrams were to take on the prequels instead of going in the other direction, the potential is just like Annakin's midichlorian count - off the charts. If he succeeds, he will be hailed as a savior of horribly disappointing movies by a fan base that can only be measured on a global scale. If he fails, it isn't exactly comparing the Pink Star to the Hope Diamond. This project deserves serious consideration. I don't have a full-blown plan on how Abrams could go about such a task, but I think I may have some starting points.
For starters, kill off Episode I completely. Blow it off the map. Get rid of the political nonsense. Get rid of the godforsaken Gungans, especially Jar Jar Binks. Get rid of Star Wars' version of the car chase (Podracing). The only components I would keep are Darth Maul, the Trade Federation (not as a separate entity, but as a member of the Confederacy), fragments of Anakin as a slave, which includes his relationship with Padme, the final Battle of Naboo and maybe Qui-Gon Jin in a reduced role.
Begin on Naboo - I'm only keeping Naboo because of Padme - during the final battle. Darth Maul survives the fight with Obi-Wan to play a greater role as an antagonist in the Clone Wars.
Speaking of the Clone Wars - it was only the largest-scale war in galactic history. Take fucking advantage of it and include some epic battles that pit Jedi against Sith, and Clone against Droid. The possibilities are endless. Don't just throw a bunch of Jedi into an arena being taken down like flies in a matter of minutes while Hayden Christensen rides around on a big fucking space rhinoceros snapping lightsabers in half.
Also, if it wasn't clear before, hipster Hayden is out as Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader, arguably the most iconic character in the Star Wars universe. Seriously, we gave that role to a Canadian? Lucas, you screwed up big time. Focus more on his evolution from slave to Jedi apprentice, and when he blossoms into one of the most powerful Jedi at such a young age before succumbing to the Dark Side. I don't know if LucasArts was just feeling lazy, but there was a ten-year gap between Episodes I and II. TEN. YEARS. In that time, Anakin went under Obi Wan's tutelage, built his first lightsaber, hit puberty, and embarked on his path of destiny that supposedly would lead him to become the greatest Jedi ever. And Lucas threw up a big middle finger to all of that and just dumped Hayden on us gawking at Padme. Change all of that. Make Anakin the badass he was supposed to be. I'm no movie director, so I don't have the plans or resources to make that happen, but Abrams should consider it.
That's about as far as I've gotten, because as I just mentioned, I'm no director. But I honestly believe it's a starting point that you can work with. Give it a shot Abrams. What do we have to lose?
I love Star Wars. Everyone has their childhood (screw it, lifelong) obsessions, such as superhero storylines, masterpiece novels, television series - you get the idea. My go-to is Star Wars. It is my favorite thing of all-time, trashy prequels and all. I can recite every line from each movie, I've played almost every Star Wars video game, and had a slew of Star Wars action figures and board games as an adolescent. I've owned every lightsaber available in stores and, like everyone's favorite actor Hayden, eventually broke each one from excessive use. Honest to God, I would probably own one now at age 24 if someone else bought one and promised to duel me in the backyard when we both had some free time.
This all goes without the scientific and intellectual aspect Star Wars brings to the table. The original trilogy was at least 30 years before its time, and introduced its audience to concepts and dreams never before conceived. It is brilliant, as well as entertaining, and when the prequel trilogy fell flat on its face, it was borderline depressing.
Earlier this year, it was announced that LucasArts was being sold to Disney, and another set of movies could be expected. Only this time, Lucas, who bombed on the prequels, would be handing over directing duties to J.J. Abrams. Now, Star Wars fans everywhere are anticipating Episode VII, VIII, and IX as eagerly as they are nervously. They could help to successfully make up for what was the utter failure of I, II, and III, and they just as easily could be overkill. There is plenty of risk in this undertaking, and I certainly hope Abrams is up to the task. Given the risk, I think there is far more potential in a different project, and it would put Abrams in a no-lose situation. Reboot the Star Wars prequels.
Think about it. If Abrams were to take on the prequels instead of going in the other direction, the potential is just like Annakin's midichlorian count - off the charts. If he succeeds, he will be hailed as a savior of horribly disappointing movies by a fan base that can only be measured on a global scale. If he fails, it isn't exactly comparing the Pink Star to the Hope Diamond. This project deserves serious consideration. I don't have a full-blown plan on how Abrams could go about such a task, but I think I may have some starting points.
For starters, kill off Episode I completely. Blow it off the map. Get rid of the political nonsense. Get rid of the godforsaken Gungans, especially Jar Jar Binks. Get rid of Star Wars' version of the car chase (Podracing). The only components I would keep are Darth Maul, the Trade Federation (not as a separate entity, but as a member of the Confederacy), fragments of Anakin as a slave, which includes his relationship with Padme, the final Battle of Naboo and maybe Qui-Gon Jin in a reduced role.
Begin on Naboo - I'm only keeping Naboo because of Padme - during the final battle. Darth Maul survives the fight with Obi-Wan to play a greater role as an antagonist in the Clone Wars.
Speaking of the Clone Wars - it was only the largest-scale war in galactic history. Take fucking advantage of it and include some epic battles that pit Jedi against Sith, and Clone against Droid. The possibilities are endless. Don't just throw a bunch of Jedi into an arena being taken down like flies in a matter of minutes while Hayden Christensen rides around on a big fucking space rhinoceros snapping lightsabers in half.
Also, if it wasn't clear before, hipster Hayden is out as Anakin Skywalker/Darth Vader, arguably the most iconic character in the Star Wars universe. Seriously, we gave that role to a Canadian? Lucas, you screwed up big time. Focus more on his evolution from slave to Jedi apprentice, and when he blossoms into one of the most powerful Jedi at such a young age before succumbing to the Dark Side. I don't know if LucasArts was just feeling lazy, but there was a ten-year gap between Episodes I and II. TEN. YEARS. In that time, Anakin went under Obi Wan's tutelage, built his first lightsaber, hit puberty, and embarked on his path of destiny that supposedly would lead him to become the greatest Jedi ever. And Lucas threw up a big middle finger to all of that and just dumped Hayden on us gawking at Padme. Change all of that. Make Anakin the badass he was supposed to be. I'm no movie director, so I don't have the plans or resources to make that happen, but Abrams should consider it.
That's about as far as I've gotten, because as I just mentioned, I'm no director. But I honestly believe it's a starting point that you can work with. Give it a shot Abrams. What do we have to lose?
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
Premier League Review - Arsenal Stay Top, Liverpool Impress in Week 7
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| Jack Wilshire celebrates his equalizer for Arsenal (Image Courtesy: BBC.co.uk) |
Liverpool climbed to second in the table with a 3-1 win over Crystal Palace. Luis Suarez opened the scoring for the Reds, before Daniel Sturridge doubled the lead to maintain his impressive goal scoring streak. Captain Stephen Gerrard tucked home a penalty to make it 3-0, before Dwight Gayle scored a second-half consolation for Palace.
The pressure on David Moyes looked set to boil over Saturday morning when his side fell behind to Sunderland in the first five minutes of their game at the Stadium of Light. The Scot was rescued by teenage man of the match Adnan Januzaj from Belgium/Albania/England/Turkey/Serbia (seriously, he's eligible to play internationally for all 5). The youngster made his mark with a cool finish to tie the game and then one-upped himself with an audacious left-footed volley to win the game for United.
Manchester City ended Everton's recent run of good form with a 3-1 victory at the Etihad. Romelu Lukaku's early goal for the Toffees was immediately cancelled out by City's Alvaro Negredo, setting the stage for Sergio Aguero to give the Citizens the lead on the stroke of halftime. A Tim Howard own goal compounded a miserable day for Everton, who now sit 7th in the league.
Elsewhere, goals by Oscar, Eden Hazard, and Willian helped Chelsea to a 3-1 win over Norwich that sees them sitting third in the table. Spurs slumped to a miserable 3-0 home defeat in the London Derby against rivals West Ham, while Southampton upset Swansea 2-0 to crack into the top four. Fulham secured a tight 1-0 home win against Stoke, Newcastle beat newly promoted Cardiff 2-1 on their travels, while Hull and Aston Villa drew 0-0.
-LM
New NFL Pro Bowl Uniforms Pit Oregon Against Oregon State
The transition from Reebok to Nike as the NFL's partner has been pretty seamless. Two years ago, Nike started producing NFL apparel, and only the Seattle Seahawks have seen a major makeover. Most of the NFL teams have maintained their current styles, and only a handful of teams had minor adjustments made that are hardly noticeable to the average fan.
This all changed today as Nike completely stripped the commonplace blue and red jerseys for the Pro Bowl. Traditionally, the AFC squad donned the red jerseys while the NFC wore blue. However, the NFL implemented a new system this year similar to the NHL's All-Star draft format. For hockey's All-Star Game, captains are selected, and they "draft" their team from the pool of players selected for the game. The NFL will be doing the same this year in their umpteenth attempt to generate interest in an otherwise lackluster event that few viewers have ever tuned in for.
With the change in format apparently comes a change in appearance as Nike unveiled the uniforms that the two squads will now wear. Nike went with neon orange and neon yellow as the new trademarks of the NFL's All-Star event, and they pretty much resemble something straight out of the Pac-12. The neon colors feel more affiliated with college uniforms than anything else as Nike attempts their first bold splash as the NFL's apparel partner.
A picture of the new uniforms is below. What's your opinion? If these uniforms, coupled with the Seahawks' new look, is any indication, then the NFL appears to be on a collision course with a retro movement. I don't know how I feel about the changes personally, but I understand Nike wants to establish a brand and identity for themselves independent of Reebok. All I know is that I might actually tune into two minutes of Pro Bowl action this year just to see the new format and new uniforms. After that, the honeymoon will be over and I'm sure I'll switch back to anything else that's on television at the time.
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| Remember the Seahawks before they went retro? Courtesy of www.komonews.com |
With the change in format apparently comes a change in appearance as Nike unveiled the uniforms that the two squads will now wear. Nike went with neon orange and neon yellow as the new trademarks of the NFL's All-Star event, and they pretty much resemble something straight out of the Pac-12. The neon colors feel more affiliated with college uniforms than anything else as Nike attempts their first bold splash as the NFL's apparel partner.
A picture of the new uniforms is below. What's your opinion? If these uniforms, coupled with the Seahawks' new look, is any indication, then the NFL appears to be on a collision course with a retro movement. I don't know how I feel about the changes personally, but I understand Nike wants to establish a brand and identity for themselves independent of Reebok. All I know is that I might actually tune into two minutes of Pro Bowl action this year just to see the new format and new uniforms. After that, the honeymoon will be over and I'm sure I'll switch back to anything else that's on television at the time.
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| Are we watching the Ducks vs. the Beavers? Courtesy of ESPN |
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